Devotion of Emotion
by t.maximus
Summary: Throughout their strange relationship, Gaara realizes many things he had never felt before. Naruto/Gaara, AU, Slash, Oneshot.


The sun rose high, stretching over the horizon. The rays danced slowly, as if reaching out to pierce the sky, while clouds swirled lazily, continuing on their journey to no one knows where. But they never had the opportunity to finish that journey. By the time they've almost finished, they rain out. Such a dry and depressing process. But no one seems to care.

A red-haired boy lay in a tree. A tree with thick brown branches that reached for the skies. They begged to be released from their limited amount of space, or perhaps they were trying to tell a message? To always reach for the highest? One could never ponder such simple aspects of life. The simplest things in life proved to be the most difficult, in their own ways.

The boy lay on a thick branch, running the tips of his fingers over the bark, tracing simple patterns. The rough feel somehow soothed the boy, as his chest slowly rose, then fell again. His emerald eyes were lazily watching as a leaf hung loosely from a branch. It was oddly placed, being all by itself, away from all of the other leaves, which had confused the boy. It was a typical leaf, just like the others, yet it was all alone. The comparison to his own life made the boys breath hitch in his throat. Even the slightest of breezes would send it falling to the ground, and he wanted to reach out and save it, but he knew couldn't interfere with the hands of fate.

He wasn't sure why he came here anymore.

Trying to forget about it, he slowly let his eyelids close. The darkness was oddly comforting, as he had lived through a lot of it in his life. Until.. until, well some_one_ had changed it. His eyes clenched closed tighter, not wanting to trail down memory lane. But these things always had a way of turning on him, and thoughts started blooming like a silent flame raging into a deadly fire. The spiky blond hair - the porcelain sapphire eyes that always had that passionate determination in them – the lazy grin that lay on his relaxed face – those large calloused, yet comforting hands holding him - and suddenly it was all too much – the boys eyes shot open and one of his hands flew to his neck, feeling for an object. His hands had memorized each curve of it long ago, yet it had always brought him back to reality.

His eyes flickered up momentarily when he heard a bird chirping. He looked above him to see a small chickadee staring at the red-haired boy, it's black beady eyes studying him. The bird chirped again, and Gaara glared at it and sat up. He shook the branch it was on to scare it away.

Once that was dealt with his gaze switched back to see the lonely leaf snap from the branch. He stopped breathing as it twirled in the air, momentarily having the raw freedom of soaring, flying. Though it was silly, he felt as if he could relate to the leaf. The pure joy and happiness, that led you crashing into a deeper hole of despair. He let himself drop down quickly from the branch, and rushed below the leaf as it continued to dance it's way through the air. He cupped his hands, waiting. Less than a few seconds later, the leaf landed in his hands and he studied it.

It was just a common leaf, nothing special, nothing different.

A frown flickered onto his face and his eyes narrowed, all sympathy for the leaf gone.

The remains of the it blew into the air as he walked away.

* * *

><p><em>He had lay in his tree. Just like he always did. Every other day, he would come to this spot, this tree, this branch, and lay here for hours. It was the closest thing to peace he had ever felt. Or that's what he had convinced himself of. His hands rested over his stomach as his eyes dropped down. A breeze rolled by, causing the leaves to rustle and create a kind of music. The leaves shook, and for once, his thoughts did not. This kind of a place, was the place that kept him sane, though everyone else in his life was convinced otherwise. They though of him as a monster. Which wasn't so untrue; He could not deny the words that were murmured in the shadows of people.<em>

_Monster._

_Beast._

_Filthy Creature._

_Such ugly words, that created such an ugly boy. An ugly boy born of hate, regret, lies. But they had built him into something indestructible. Something that could never get hurt again. In his head, he thanked those selfish imbeciles. They thought they could break him. In a way, they did. They broke his ability to feel. But they wouldn't break this new wall. _

_They couldn't._

_He didn't need love, or compassion. He didn't _want_ it. He was better than that. Love was a disease. Love caused insanity. Love caused depression. Love caused pain._

_Love caused death._

_Those words repeated themselves into Gaara's head each and every day. It was like a ritual. A ritual only created and used by himself. No one could take tha – _

_A moment of shock passed through his body as he heard a snap. His body tensed, but relaxed a moment later. Until he heard a voice._

"_You're in my tree."_

_Gaara's expression became hard, stony, and empty. A combination that was shown to every person he saw. He wouldn't allow anyone to see anything else of the sort. It was his outer walls that, much like his inner, blocked everything out. He stared down at the person roughly twelve feet below him. He said nothing. This must have irritated the boy, because he proceeded to repeat his statement. Gaara narrowed his eyes at the spiky, blond-haired boy, hoping his facial features would be enough of a message. But that obviously didn't get through to this moron's head, because the boy continued to stand there like an idiot, with his head craned up._

"_Go away." He calmly said, though hints of annoyance were detected in his voice. The boy just crossed his arms and raised a brow, making no intention of doing so._

"_Why should I listen to you? You don't own this tree."_

_The boy in the tree sat up, one hand resting against the branch, the other hanging limply at his side. He closed his eyes for a few seconds before re-opening them._

"_Go. Away."_

_The boy obviously had no brain, or was just terrible at listening to instructions, because his frown flicked up into a grin, and he leaned against the tree. His bright blue eyes shot up to meet Gaara's lifeless green ones, and he did something Gaara would never, ever expect anyone to do in front of him._

_He laughed._

_It was a bright and cheery laugh. It was soft, yet it rang through Gaara's ears, echoing into his mind. It was as if he was hearing a soothing melody, that momentarily caused his face to soften, and his eyes to stare blankly at nothing. He felt as if he was in a serenity of pure peace and solitude. His eyes sharply widened seconds later and he gasped for air._

_What the _hell_ was that?_

_The sudden intake of air caused the blond below him to furrow his brows._

"_Are you.. Okay?"_

_Gaara quickly regained composure and once again narrowed his eyes. Pushing what had just happened to the back of his mind, he gripped tightly on the rough bark._

"_I thought I told to to leave. Twice."_

_The boy seemed to be taken aback, for he put a hand to his chest._

"_And here I thought you only knew two words."_

_Gaara was silent._

_The boy below rubbed his neck muttering something the boy in the tree couldn't make out. Not that he cared. But _still,_ this stupid, idiot would not leave. Gaara hadn't felt this annoyed in a long time. Normally, he'd just walk away, but this was _his _territory, and he wasn't going anywhere. He wasn't sure what do to. His glares made the boy amused, and his words brushed right past him. He wasn't afraid of Gaara. So, his last plan was to simply ignore him. And he did. Resuming in his earlier position, he closed his eyes and pretended like nothing happened._

_Once again, the boy did something unexpected, and when Gaara opened his eyes he saw the boy making his way up the tree. A soft startled noise came from him, and he grasped for the branch, almost falling out of it. He cursed silently to himself, what was up with him today? This guy was throwing him off rhythm, and he wasn't enjoying it like the blond was. But this guy had some nerve, coming onto Gaara's territory and making him look like a fool. He wanted nothing more than to push the boy out of the tree, and he vaguely wondered to himself why he didn't. When he looked back to the boy, he had comfortably perched himself a few feet higher then Gaara, but on the opposite side of him, so they both had plain sight of each other. Catching Gaara's stare, the blond gave a small smile and closed his eyes, letting both hands rest on his stomach._

_Gaara tried his hardest to resume his earlier position, but he couldn't find the peace he had when he had first arrived. His mind kept plaguing with that laugh. He wanted to claw furiously at his head until his skin was raw; until his blood red hair was pulled out; until couldn't focus on anything but the pain. How had such a simple act caused so much ruckus into his mind? This was the first time he'd seen the blond-haired boy. _Why_ was he causing such a big impact? It was as if – _

"_Naruto."_

_Gaara snapped his head up to the boy, who still had his eyes closed, the small smile still plastered on his face. _

"_The name. It's Naruto."_

_Gaara was silent, then realized that this boy was probably not going to leave him alone._

_For a very long time._

* * *

><p>After about fifteen minutes of walking, Gaara stood in front of his apartment building. It felt as if his feet were glued to the cement below him. He didn't mind it though. He didn't feel like walking anymore. By now the sun had set, and the moon had rose - a quarter moon he had noticed sometime on his walk back -. Few stars had risen into the night sky, and most of them were small, unnoticeable. Someone said that every star shines, Gaara thought that was a load of bull. The cool breeze that blew by didn't faze him. Though he was only in a t-shirt and thin jeans, he didn't flinch. He just stood on the sidewalk, emotionless and tense.<p>

Another breeze rolled by, this one more harsh. It snapped him back into reality. He trudged his way into the small, quiet building, slowly making his way up the flight of stairs. Once ascended, he leaned against the wall for support suddenly feeling weak. Not because of the stairs, but he felt a wave of tiredness crash over him. His hands fiddled with the pendant of his neck for a moment, then he forced himself to go to his door. Once settled on his couch, he rested his now burning cheek against the arms of the seat. He was confused by this sudden feeling of illness, and decided to grab a cold glass of water. He grabbed a tall glass, and filled it with the icy substance. After doing so, he couldn't make it back to his couch because suddenly his knees gave out and the glass he was holding seconds ago shattered to the ground.

Pieces of the glass were embedded into his knees, and the palms of his hands. He held his hands in front of his face and just stared for a bit, watching tiny seeps of blood trickle down to his wrist. He could feel the shards in his knees digging deeper as he knelt on the ground, with the heels of his feet digging into the back of his thighs. His hands begun to shake, and his eyes widened. But again, his slightly bloody hands felt for the pendant, and he knew he would be dirtying it with the crimson substance, but he didn't care. His eyes closed minutes later as the pads of his finger tips traced the necklace. He instantly relaxed, and wanted to just stay on the ground, but he knew it wouldn't be the smartest idea. Wincing as he stood, Gaara picked out the shards from his hands and knees, and properly treated them before sweeping his mess and cleaning up the water.

By the time he finished, he felt nausea work it's way into his stomach, and he ran to the bathroom before throwing up. His insides spilled out from what he had eaten earlier in the day. Which wasn't very much, so he had ended up gagging several times. His body desperately wished to get rid of everything inside of him. It hurt more than throwing up actual vomit, and his vision began to blur as tears cascaded down his face. After hovering above his toilet for a moment and not gagging, his body fell limp and hit the linoleum floor with a thud. Vomit was on the corners of his mouth, tear tracks ran down his cheeks and he was breathing heavily, trying to suck in as much air as his lungs would allow. His hot face pressed down hard against the cool floor, in an attempt to help the situation. He lay there in a helpless heap, hating this feeling of being so human.

Minutes ticked like hours as his body curled tighter together. He wanted to move, to lay in his bed. He raised his upper body with wobbly arms, but couldn't get his whole frame body up. It resulted in his body hitting the floor again, a bit harder this time, causing him to wince. So he gave up, and lay next to his toilet, tracing one finger lightly against the pendant one last time before passing out.

* * *

><p><em>It had been the sixth or seventh time – Gaara hadn't really kept track – that Naruto and himself had shared the tree. When they did, little words were exchanged. Gaara had realized that even blond idiots like Naruto needed peace and quiet sometimes. As the time slid by, the two lay in silence, that was occasionally broken by birds chirping, or leaves blowing.<em>

"_I love when birds sing." Naruto had commented. Gaara lazily opened his eyes looking up at said boy who was grinning at a bird chirping few branches above him. The blonde then proceeded to chirp along with it, though his attempt was rather terrible. The bird faced him, it's head twitching to the side, then began chirping again. Naruto replied happily, craning his head just like the bird had seconds ago. The bird flew down, closer to Naruto, and Gaara could make out than it was rather small, a chickadee perhaps._

_The two continued to chirp at each other, and before long, the chickadee was about a foot away from the blonde. He was obviously excited about this, because the grin on his face was getting bigger and bigger. Soon enough, the bird rested down on Naruto's leg, who laughed softly – which made Gaara's eyes widen like the first time he had heard it – as the chickadee pecked gently at the boys leg. Naruto wanted to reach out and hold it, but he knew it would scare away the bird, so he just smiled and went silent again._

_Eventually the chickadee flew away, and Naruto's gaze followed it until the creature disappeared from sight. His eyes lingered to where he last saw it a little longer before returning to Gaara, who had sat up from his position and was staring blankly at the blond-haired boy. _

"_What? You've never seen anyone communicate with an animal before? I'm not the first." He said grinning sheepishly. _

_Gaara just stared._

_Naruto closed his eyes, grin never leaving his face. Silence ensued once again, but Gaara didn't like it. It was an uncomfortable silence. Obviously not to Naruto though _ _–_ _who was still smiling _ _–_ _which made Gaara feel more awkward. Well, he thought that was the feeling. It made him shift slightly in his branch, and he decided he didn't like this feeling at all. It needed to be broken. So he spoke._

"_Gaara."_

_Naruto opened his eyes and sat up, his smile vanishing with a blank look. He studied Gaara for a second, and Gaara shifted under his gaze, which was dumb, because then Naruto smirked._

"_Gaara... That's a nice name. Nice to meet you Gaara." He said, his gaze traveling in another direction. He experimentally said his name again, getting a feel for it. Gaara nodded, feeling better, and went back to laying down, face set in stone. _

_And while the blond let the name roll silently off of his lips several times more, Gaara had realized that he didn't mind when birds sang._

_Chickadee's in particular._

* * *

><p>He felt a cool hand press against his forehead, and immediately leaned into the touch. His body was aching with pain, seeping through his muscles, causing him to let out a small groan. He pried his sticky eyes open and after regaining his vision, he looked up expecting to see Naruto. But it was just his older sister Temari. She had the worried expression of a mother on her face as she eased him to sit up. He tried to pry her hands from him, but she kept a tight grip, not wanting to let go. Neither said a word. Temari just rubbed soothing circles with her hand on Gaara's back. Still feeling weak from the previous night, he allowed her to do as she pleased without putting up a fight.<p>

She leaned him against the wall in a sitting position, and called to someone to help him stay in the spot. His older brother Kankuro took Temari's place and he just sat next to his little brother, a frown set in place. Gaara heard the sound of the tap running, and the next thing he knew, Temari was back, rubbing a cold, wet cloth gently on his face, wiping off the vomit and other dirt that built up on his face. He let his eyes drop once again as she continued to clean his face.

Once she was finished, she tossed the dirty cloth into the sink and knelt down to him, resting a hand on his knee.

"Gaara?" She whispered softly.

Said boy tilted his head to the sound of her voice and opened his eyes halfway, as if to ask what she needed.

"Are you okay?"

He wanted to laugh. Why would she ask such a futile question when she already knew the answer? His sister was so dumb sometimes. Of course he was not okay. His hands and knees throbbed from the shards of glass that were pierced into his skin, his mouth tasted of vomit, his muscles were sore from sleeping on the bathroom floor, and his head was pounding. But instead of saying all of this, he just closed his eyes slowly and shook his head. Temari sighed, giving his knee a light pat. She was saying something to Kankuro, but Gaara didn't pay attention, for he was distracted from the pain in his body. The two stopped talking, and Gaara opened his eyes lazily, switching his glance from Temari to Kankuro who were staring at him. They must have been talking to him.

He closed his eyes once again not caring what they said.

Temari gave a sigh and stood up.

The next thing he knew, the sounds of water running hit his ears, and Temari was rubbing his back, trying to ease him up.

"Gaara, you need to clean up. Take a bath. We'll be in the living room if you need anything, alright?" She said softly. Gaara gave a weak nod, and the two siblings left the room. He saw a towel and clothes on the toilet seat, and began undressing himself save for his necklace. After the tub was full, he turned the knobs off and stepped into the water, hissing as the heat burned his lower legs. After settling himself in, he wondered why his siblings were at his apartment in the first place. Shrugging the thought off, he closed his eyes and just lay in the tub. He could hear Kankuro and Temari talking, probably about why he had passed out on his bathroom floor, dirty and bandaged. They probably thought he was drinking the night before, which Gaara found a little amusing. He had never touched alcohol in his life, and never planned on.

After a few minutes of just laying down, Gaara sat up and began washing himself. He lathered a cloth with soap and began scrubbing his body. It helped with some of the pain, and washed off the grease and oil that built up on his body. Taking a bath never felt so great. Once he finished his bath, he drained the water and sat on the edge of the tub as he dried himself off, feeling a lot better than he did before. Still a little weak though, he mused to himself. Getting dressed, he made his way out into his tiny living room to see his brother and sister relaxing. They turned to him as they heard his footsteps.

Not bothering with saying anything, Gaara made his way to the kitchen, grabbing an apple. He chopped it into slices, put them into a bowl, and leaned against the counter. Kankuro stepped into the kitchen, and frowned as his younger brother slowly ate his snack.

"So, are you going to tell us what happened, or what?"

Gaara continued eating his apple slices, ignoring his brothers question.

"What, you think I'm just going to drop the subject because you're not responding? Be mature Gaara, talk."

Gaara stared at his brother.

Kankuro walked to the younger boy, gripping the collar of his shirt. He glowered down at him. Gaara set his bowl down behind him and looked his brother straight in the eye.

"Don't touch me."

Kankuro ground his teeth together and tightened his grip furiously.

"See! This is what I mean! We come to say hello, find you passed out on your bathroom floor covered in vomit, and blood on you hands and knees, clean you up, and you won't even give us an explanation, much less a thanks!"

Gaara lowered his eyes for a second, before flickering them back up to Kankuro.

"I could have helped myself. I don't need you. I never have needed you."

Temari let out a gasp as her little brother was struck in the face. Kankuro released Gaara as said boy fell to the ground. The older boy growled and made his way to the door.

"Your such an ungrateful brat. Maybe that's why he's gone. Because you didn't deserve him."

Gaara's eyes widened. His hand stroked the pendant for a minute, momentarily forgetting about the pain in his cheek, before his door slammed shut. Temari stood awkwardly in the small kitchen, deciding which brother she should go to. She knelt down to Gaara's level, keeping her space from him.

"You know he didn't mean that. He's just angry."

Gaara said nothing as Temari attempted to comfort him for the next few minutes.

* * *

><p>"<em>I don't understand."<em>

_Naruto opened his eyes and sat up, staring at Gaara, who was looking to his right, at different trees. His gaze traveled on, throughout the small forest that lead to a large open field. It was really a beautiful place. Gaara wasn't even sure how he had managed to find it; he had been trying to get away from everything; everyone. Eventually he had ended up in the small forest, and decided to just rest in a tree. There wasn't anything special about this one, it had just been there._

"_What don't you understand?" Naruto had asked, tilting his head to the side slightly. Gaara's gaze didn't falter, staying in one spot. He feared if he looked Naruto in the eye, he would lose track of what he was saying._

"_You said you've come here before we met. How is it we've never seen each other before?"  
><em>

_Naruto pondered this for a moment. A frown etched onto his face as he thought. Gaara stole a quick glance at Naruto before returning to his previous spot. The blond brought a hand to his chin, the other steadying himself on the tree branch._

"_Well, I guess the days you didn't come here, I did."_

"_I suppose. But I came here on certain days, and every time I was here, no one else was."_

_Naruto grinned at the boy across the tree from him._

"_Well, I never had a schedule of when I came here. Just did it when I felt like it."_

_Gaara frowned at the boys teasing tone._

"_But hey, why does it matter?" The boy said, giving him a grin. Gaara shifted his gaze to the ground, blinking a few times before looking back up to Naruto._

"_It doesn't."_

_Naruto shifted into a crouching position, climbing his way to Gaara's branch, who in turn stiffened. When the blonde was next to Gaara, he leaned in close – too close for Gaara's comfort – and the red-haired male had wondered briefly when this boy had manged to destroy all of his walls he spent years building so easily. But his thoughts were interrupted when Naruto whispered._

"_Good. Because if you ask me, I'm glad I met you."_

_Gaara realized that he didn't mind when Naruto tore down his inner walls._

_But he didn't like the blonde being this close too him._

* * *

><p>After his sister left, Gaara sat up, and made his way into his bedroom. It was small, with a single bed and a petite dresser. Upon the dresser was a framed photo of Naruto and himself. It sat oddly on the dresser, being the only item upon it. His gaze flickered to the photo momentarily before he sat down on him bed, running one of his hands up and down the comforter. He looked at the floor, then at the ceiling. He shifted on his bed, lying on his stomach, and burying his face into his pillow. Taking in a deep sigh, he snuggled his face deeper into his pillow. He lay there, silently for about twenty minutes before he dozed off.<p>

Hours later, he sat up and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. He felt better from his illness, and stretched his arms and legs. He rolled out of bed, standing up a little too quickly, causing black spots to dance around his vision. He stumbled for a second, and grabbed onto his dresser to support himself. Once he was steady, he walked back into his small living room, to his kitchen. He opened his fridge, scanning the contents, which wasn't very much. So he decided on something simple like toast. Grabbing the bread and butter, he put two slices into the toaster. Once the bread was cooked and ready, he ate the pieces rather quickly. Realizing that he hadn't eaten all day, plus with the fact that he was sick last night, he was starving. After eating the toast, and still hungry, he grabbed another apple, pushing aside his hunger.

Slipping on his shoes, and grabbing a light jacket, he made his way out of his apartment. Noticing it was late afternoon, he walked on, not planning to go to his usual spot. He took a different route, rounding through a thicker, and much bigger forest than the one he was normally in.

He walked on for a half an hour, walking by a river, up a hill and other obstacles before he came to his destination. He sat down on the green grass, looking out on the large pond – or it may have been a small lake – before him. His eyes scanned the body of water, how it reflected the now darkening skies, and then closed them. Listening to the nature around him, he heard crickets begin to sing, and birds chirping began to fade away. His hands stretched out on either side of him, fingers curling around blades of grass, pulling few out. He breathed a heavy sigh, and let his body relax once again.

Sitting up, Gaara took off his shoes and socks, and made his way to the pond. Feeling the grass beneath his toes, and the slight breeze run by, his body shivered. He sat at the edge of the water, dipping his feet in. Baby minnows gathered around his feet, wondering what they were. A small smile grazed his face as the baby fish swam around him.

Closing his eyes once again, Gaara rolled the tips of his fingers on the rocks around him. Picking up one, he lightly tossed it into the lake, causing a ripple effect. He repeated the process several more times before growing bored of it. He cupped his hands together and scooped up water, splashing his face. The cold water sent a shock down his spine, causing him to shudder. He wiped his wet hands on his pants and walked back to where he lay before. He used his jacket as a pillow and closed his eyes, stroking his necklace lightly with his thumb.

He wasn't exactly sure why he came to the lake. He had only come here a few times with Naruto. But it felt as if something had drawn him here. He pushed the thought aside, and felt his eyes close again. The red-haired male didn't know why he was sleeping so much lately, but didn't really care. As he was slipping out of consciousness, he swore he felt an arm around his waist, and a warm breathe on the back of his neck.

* * *

><p>"<em>Hey Gaara."<em>

_It was a late night. Gaara was surprised that Naruto had actually come by this late, and even more surprised that he somehow knew Gaara would be here. The red-heads eyes glanced down at the blond questioningly, who in turn had both of his hands on his hips, with a wide grin on his face. _

"_Come down, I want to show you something."_

_Gaara closed his eyes and muttered something Naruto couldn't decipher. He put a hand to his ear and leaned towards the red-head._

"_What was that? You're going to have to repeat the question louder, you're like eleven or twelve feet high up and I, unfortunately don't have amazing hearing."_

"_Why can't you show me up here?" Gaara repeated, gaze sliding back down to Naruto._

"_Well! Because I can't bring it to you! We have to walk there!" The blond chirped, waving his arms around frantically. _

"_...No."_

_Naruto's expression flattened. A pout came to rest on his face, and he crossed his arms._

"_Aw, come on! We never hang out anywhere _but _here! Let's do something different! I promise you it'll be fun!"_

_Gaara's expression stayed the same, and he stubbornly refused once again._

"_Don't make me come up there!" The boy threatened, shaking a fist dramatically. Gaara raised a brow at the boy below him and said nothing. The blond shrugged and started climbing the tree. He pulled himself up through the branches and when he came to Gaara's level, said boy tensed, gripping the bark. Naruto slyly grinned, and climbed atop the other male. The red-haired boy made a move to shove Naruto off of him even if it meant throwing him to the ground, but Naruto lowered his body onto Gaara's, tucking his head underneath Gaara's chin while wrapping his arms around the boy and the branch, keeping him balance. He then proceeded to nuzzle against Gaara's neck, cooing to 'Please go somewhere else today with him'. The red head would've thrown Naruto off, he _really _wanted to, but his arms were trapped._

"_Alright, fine. Get off of me."_

_Naruto looked up and him._

"_Say you'll come with me!"_

_Ignoring the dirty joke behind the statement, Gaara did as the blond said, and soon they were climbing down the tree. Naruto took the lead, walking through various places. They walked through a larger forest than the one they were normally in, they walked by a river, up a hill and other obstacles before they came to something that had Gaara awe-struck. It was a large open field with rich, green grass strewn on as far as the eye could see, with a large pond – it could even be a small lake – in the middle. One large oak tree stood close to the pond. Gaara swallowed and looked to Naruto, who was smiling._

"_It's nice, isn't it?"_

_Gaara nodded._

"_All right, now that you've had time to absorb the beauty, let's play a game!"_

_Gaara raised a brow and declined._

"_Oh come on Gaara! Live a little!" Naruto said crossing his arms and huffing._

"_I'm living right now."_

"_Ugh, that's not what I meant, and you know it!"_

"_Do I?"_

_Naruto grumbled before poking Gaara's arm._

"_Please?"_

"_No."_

"_But why not?" The blond whined childishly._

"_Because you said you just wanted to show me something. And you did. You never said anything about a game." He replied calmly._

"_Gaara, you're going to play a game with me, and do you know why?"_

_Gaara felt a little nervous by this point. _

_Not receiving an answer, Naruto continued._

"_Because if you don't, I'll tickle you."_

_Gaara's eyes actually widened, and he hesitantly took a step back. Naruto smirked and advanced forward a step. This continued until Naruto lunged forward, ready to tackle the boy, but Gaara dodged and began running away._

"_You can run, but you can't hide!" The blond called out, chasing after the boy._

_In a way, it _was_ a game, Gaara had thought._

_The two continued to run, until Gaara had stumbled over his feet. While trying to regain his balance, it gave Naruto the opportunity to tackle him lightly to the ground. The blond laughed with his arms around Gaara's waist, while the other was trying to cover his smile with a hand over his mouth. The two stayed like that for a moment before Naruto stood, bringing Gaara up as well. They stood awkwardly for a moment before Naruto took Gaara's wrist and lead him towards the pond. The redhead followed silently, a little curious at what Naruto was going to do._

_As they reached the pond, Naruto began taking his shoes off, and rolling up his pants. He motioned for Gaara to do the same. The boy was hesitant, but followed Naruto's actions. Naruto sat by the edge, and dipped his feet in the pond, sighing at the feeling. Gaara sat beside the blond, dipping his feet in as well, flinching at how cold it was._

"_You'll get used to it in a minute." The blond said as if reading Gaara's mind._

_After settling in, Gaara began to notice Naruto fidget, as it he was... nervous about something. He tilted his head as he stared at the boy, thinking about what could have been bugging him. Naruto's gaze flicked up to meet Gaara's and he took a breathe._

"_I have something I want to give you."_

_The red head shifted slightly as Naruto reached into his pocket and pulled out something. He opened his palm and held it out to Gaara, who wasn't sure what to do but stare. It was a silver necklace, with a bird pendant attached onto it. It's wings were outstretched as if it were flying. It was a relatively small bird Gaara noticed, and it kind of looked like a chickadee._

_His eyes rose back to Naruto's, who was smiling softly._

"_My father gave it to my mother when they were younger, and Jiraya told me that my father wanted me to give it to someone important in my life."_

"_I... I don't.. I-"_

"_Hey, relax. You don't have to accept it if you don't want to." Naruto murmured sadly. _

_Gaara's eyes widened and he shook his head furiously not knowing what to say. The blonds eyes relaxed once again, and he leaned towards Gaara, his head hovering above his shoulder. He clasped the necklace together, and was about to pull away when arms wrapped around his middle. Gaara buried his head into Naruto's shoulder, muttering a thanks._

_When Naruto drew back slightly, Gaara tried to pull him back, not wanting to let go, but instead, Naruto kissed him softly._

_As the night progressed, and more kisses were shared throughout it, Gaara realized he never wanted to leave Naruto's side._

_Ever._

* * *

><p>Eyes jerking open, Gaara sat up sharply. He cursed silently for falling asleep in the field, as it was <em>freezing<em> outside at the moment and still dark. He grabbed the jacket and slipped it on, ignoring how it was a little damp from the dew on the grass. He walked briskly home, intending on wrapping himself in a cocoon of blankets, and eating something delicious. The thought made him close his eyes and sigh. He picked up his pace, starting into a light jog. Once he reached his apartment building, he ran up the stairs and threw open the door, intent on getting warm as soon as possible.

~!~

Months had passed. Gaara hadn't gone to either places him and Naruto had spent together. Finally having enough with all of the past memories, Gaara promised himself he would never go to either places again.

Some days, he wouldn't even wear the necklace.

He took the liberty of getting a job at a library – a job that involved him not talking to many people – so he could start paying his rent, instead of his siblings having to. Every day was a routine; wake up, eat breakfast, get ready for work, go to work, come home and eat dinner, go to bed. The occasional day he would go to the market to buy food, but that was once every two or three weeks. He couldn't say he was happy; but he wasn't depressed.

He was, nothing.

He wasn't angry or cheerful; amused or disappointed.

He felt like a robot. Though the thought was full of misery, he himself was not miserable.

~!~

As he was getting ready for work one day, Gaara received a call from his boss, telling him he had the day off.

This threw off his regular routine naturally, and he had no idea what to do for the day. He momentarily thought of going to the forest, or even the pond, but crushed the idea away the second it grew into his head. After spending months of forgetting, he would not ruin his progress.

But suddenly – he hears a whispering through his mind.

_Gaara._

He brings a hand to his head and curses mentally.

_Go to the pond please. Just once more._

"No, I won't."

But he knows in his heart that he will, and he does.

* * *

><p>"<em>You see that tree there? My father planted it when he was a kid. Whenever I lay in it, I feel like I'm with him." Naruto had told him the second time they went to the pond.<em>

_Gaara lowered his eyes to the ground, briefly remembering Naruto tell him about his parents the first time they came here._

"_My dad used to bring my mother here a lot as well when they were younger. Well, tha- that's what Jiraya told me at least."_

_The redhead heard the crack in Naruto's voice and looked up to see the boy smiling sadly, looking at the large oak tree, his eyes shimmering with... tears?_

"_A few months after he was gone, mom came here o-one last time to say goodbye. She climbed the tree and lay there crying. When she stopped, she looked up t-to see a white envelope. She opened it, and all it sai- said was "I love you Kushina."_

_He was unsure what he should do as a few tears rolled down Naruto's cheeks._

"_I wish I could have grown up with them there, by my side."_

_He lowered his gaze once more, before taking Naruto's hand in his. And as he heard Naruto sniffle, he realized that he didn't like when Naruto cried._

_Not one bit._

* * *

><p>Each step towards the pond is painful, and when he arrives, he isn't sure what to do.<p>

But he decides this is the last time he will ever come here. It's the time he will say goodbye. He sits at the edge of the pond, and throws rocks in the water. He lays on the fresh green grass, running his hands through the green blades. He stands in the field, and looks up to the sky, as a rush of wind blows by.

He leaves the tree for last.

As he stands below it, he can't help but think of every moment him and Naruto shared. When they first met, Gaara would have never thought they would have become so close. He remembers the chickadee Naruto had sung to, and the time Naruto had told him he was glad they met.

"I'm glad I met you too." He says running his hand up the tree trunk.

He began to climb the large oak tree, coming to a rest near the top, where the branches were thin. He lays on a long branch that somehow feels like it was made for him to lay on. He feels this awkward pit in his stomach, that works it's way up to his chest. He didn't notice the tears falling until he chokes on a sob and everything comes crashing down. He cries like a baby, shoulders racking, eyes clenched shut. Everything that had built up over the months shatters into shards of nothingness. He doesn't stop crying for a very long time.

He hiccups and can't seem to catch his breathe. He stops, trying to deliver air to his lungs, and when he does, he pries his eyes open, staring dully at the branches scattered around him. Then he notices something tucked in between two branches.

A white envelope.

He sits up sharply, climbing towards the envelope. He tears it open, and pulls the letter out that simply reads,

_I love you Gaara._

And while he sits in the tree, hugging the note to his chest, eyes closed lightly, Gaara realizes that he loves Naruto.

With all his heart.

* * *

><p>I know it's 7000 (almost 8000) words, but I feel like it should have been longer... Maybe like 9001 words, just so I could look at this and say "It's over 9000!"<p>

Anyway, this story was dedicated to my friend Ciara. It's an apology for not being able to see her this summer, since she moved away recently. Hope she likes it :)

**R&R please, and thanks to everyone who stuck through the story till the end.**


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